Adventures

The above is my sad attempt at documenting the "party" (come on it was 5 people do you think you're having a party because you're wrong) that was going on in the lounge last night. They were all doing the Soulja Boy dance and it was really amusing so I tried to take a sneaky picture of them from my doorway but my flash was on and it was super bright so now they know what I've done. My roommate was like, "NOW THEY THINK WE'RE CREEPY" so oops. That was dumb of me. I went running across the room screaming "CLOSE THE DOOR BEFORE THEY SEE" so maybe I will remain unknown. We'll see.

Today, Dominic and I were wandering around the P.O.D. market and we saw these odd looking sodas in fancy glass bottles. The company was Fentimans and they all had weird names like Curiosity Cola and Victorian Lemonade, and my personal favorite, Mandarin & Seville Orange Jigger. Now I don't know what they think a jigger is, but according to the internet the definition of the word is: a machine or vehicle with a part that rocks or moves back and forth, e.g., a jigsaw. So I'm not exactly sure what that means in drink form.... anyway.
So we decided to be adventurous and each buy one of these mysterious drinks, just to try. They were like $2.50 with tax, so why not?

Dominic got the Victorian Lemonade, trying to play it somewhat safe. I decided to go crazy and buy the jigger drink. I couldn't even say the name of it out loud, it just sounds like it should be offensive. We wondered vaguely if anyone had every bought these drinks yet, or if the cashier would judge us because let's be real, who drinks this weird shit? So we buy the drinks and go sit down, preparing ourselves mentally. We crack open the tops, and simultaneously take a swig from our respective bottles. 

And holy shit, but it was nasty. It tasted like acidic bile and bread with a faint hint of citrus, as if it remembered being orange juice once but had since gone bad, so there was just the idea of orange left. We both spluttered and gagged and started laughing because what the hell did we just buy?! 

Neither of us like to waste money, so we were initially determined to finish them. The second swig wasn't as horrifying, but it was still pretty unbearable. We kept taking tiny swigs, wincing and choking every time. 

"Imagine how good everything else will taste after this," Dominic said at one point. 

I couldn't shake the feeling that these drinks tasted kind of alcoholic, even though obviously they weren't because it's a dry campus and we bought them on campus. Still, they said "fermented" and they tasted so weird and sour. We Googled the company, and surprise surprise but apparently the bottles have 0.5% alcohol. I was horrified, even though Dominic pointed out you'd have to drink like 200 mL of the stuff to have the alcohol content of one beer, and there was only 9.3 mL in one bottle. Plus, it counted as a soft drink. Still, that was just one more reason for me to not want to drink the stuff anymore. Fun fact, the Victorian Lemonade was actually banned at some school somewhere in America. 

I really couldn't stand to drink another sip of the weird bread-barf drink, and I'd barely drank what was in the neck of the bottle. So we went to the bathrooms and I went into a stall and covertly dumped it down the toilet. It sounded and looked a lot like pee. I'm glad I was alone in the bathroom though because I was standing in front of the toilet and if someone had walked past my stall it would have appeared that I had a penis and was peeing standing up in the stall. Awkward. 

After that we rinsed out the taste of awful from our mouths with Starbucks. 

So that was my little adventure of the day. The moral of the story is, don't buy weird ass drinks from the P.O.D. market because it will only end in misery. And irritating the guy sitting next to you in the student lounge with your shrieking in disgust. 

Happy Labor Day! 

-Audrey